The Fourth is my favorite holiday of the year. I love the hot weather, the local parades, visiting with friends and family. Sometimes I stay up in New Hampshire with my girls for the Fourth, other times I go down to the Cape and spend time with B2 and her extended family. B2’s family is larger than mine and not spread out geographically, so I fell into their traditions and family outings. They have their quirks, but they are a great family.
But yesterday was different. B2 avoided asking me to come down to the Cape, and I would have declined if she had made an offer. Her depression is taking its toll in her ability to be civil. I try to stay out of her line of fire.
So yesterday was brutal. It was the first holiday where things where decidedly not normal because of the state of my relationship with B2, and I was walking around the house alone like zombie. Tenacious was off partying with his friends; Adie was off with her cronies. JayWon is in Pennsylvania. JayToo is down at the Cape. Perfecto is doing research in school.
The physical absence of my kids and B2 was palpable. Because the house is for sale, it is in pristine condition and is simply a joy to walk through. The deep tall woods that encompass the house make this one of the most serene and majestic times of the year. The absence of the noise that permeated the house for eight years was driving me crazy.
It simply punctuated the loss of what was once a rich relationship.